Back at it. Sorry for the delay. I got struck with the 'rona and my HP was at dangerous levels for about two weeks so I couldn't get much done. Not to get political or anything but I'd fully encourage you all to get vaccinated. This delta variant is no joke. Oh my gobrino!
Anyways, on with the bidness. New script update is uploaded to check that out from the home page. We last left off with Fei and Bart returning to the Sand Pirate hideout after escaping the stalactite caverns. This section of translation was VERY exposition heavy with backstory on Bart's lineage, the mission to rescue Margie in Aveh, and the Fatima Jasper and its connection to the great Fatima treasure, but surprisingly uncomplicated translation as it was light on the symbolism and subtext.
First thing I'd like to note here is that I've made a retroactive change to the name of Solaris' special forces unit, Gebler. An eagle eyed reddit user pointed out that Gebler is actually a mistranslation of Gevurah. Gevurah here is a reference to sephirah, or emanations, in the tree of life of the Kaballah (an esoteric school of thought in Jewish mysticism). It's essentially one of the 10 attributes through which God reveals him/herself. The attribute Gevurah is understood as God's mode of punishing the wicked and judging humanity in general. It is the foundation of stringency, absolute adherence to the letter of the law, and strict meting out of justice. Since the religious allusion here is pretty poignant and on the nose for the role that "Gebler" plays in the world of Xenogears, I do feel this mistranslation was a missed opportunity and so I've corrected it in my translation. Going forward, all mentions of "Gebler" will now be translations as Gevurah.
Other than that, there's actually not too much to note in this section of exposition as there aren't too many significant changes aside from smoothing out the dialogue and making it sound more natural. Aizuchi has been adjusted appropriately wherever it's present. Maison and Citan discuss the Fatima Jasper and then Bart expounds on the picture scrolls detailing the Fatima Royal Treasure and its connection to said Fatima Jasper. There's actually not too much here that differs from the original Japanese translation. On a side note, I did find it interesting that the lines of dialogue spoken by Bart about the picture scrolls keep the Biblical allusion to giants in the original Japanese.
I've translated it as:
"This is 'the king who made a blood oath with giants, wrapping his body in flame.' ...King Fatima I."
The original Japanese also uses the term 巨人 or giant for this line. I don't know how intentional it was on the part of the original script, but knowing how many other religious allusions are present in the story, I wouldn't be surprised if it was intentional.
Anyways, Bart asks for help, then Fei whines. Then Sigurd asks Fei to watch Bart whining to himself and BAM! Gevurah attacks the base. With the Gevurah officers, there's been a number of naming convention changes. It's pretty apparent that the officers were all supposed to be named after historically significant scientists. Broyer has been changed to Breuer, Heimholz to Helmholz, Renk to Rank, and so on. Breuer is a potential reference to Joseph Breuer, a neurophysiologist who laid the groundwork for psychoanalysis. Honestly, even if it's not a direct reference to the historical Joseph Breuer, I would still prefer this translation of the name as there's linguistic precedent for it with its German roots. Heimholz is a misspelling of 'Helmholtz', a reference to the German physician and physicist Hermann von Helmholtz who also inspired the name for the character Helmholtz Watson in Brave New World - a novel by Aldous Huxley, written as a revolt against the idea of futuristic "Utopia," something similar to Solaris in Xenogears. Renk is possibly a misspelling of 'Rank' (to keep in with the theme of the Gebler being named after scientists and psychologists): Otto Rank was an Austrian psychoanalyst, writer, teacher, and therapist, and one of Sigmund Freud's closest colleagues for 20 years. Anyways, now they fight and Fei continues to mope until the end of the fight when he says he'll help Bart and co.
Cut to the intro of two hugely significant character to the plot, Ramsus and Miang. I've decided to keep Ramsus' name according to the original English translation. According to the Xeno wiki, Ramsus is supposedly derived from Ramses, the line of Egyptian pharoahs, but none of the supplemental research I did really supports this as the Japanese translation would be ラムセス if this were the case, and not how it's spelled in game as ラムサス．That said, it's safer to assume it's more of a vague nod by having a similar sounding name rather than direct reference so it's probably better to stick to the original English. I have learned, however, that his first name カーラン in the Japanese was mistranslated in the original English as Kahran, where it should be Carlin. He is referred to by certain characters later on as Kahr in the original English (カール in the Japanese), so for these instances, the correct translation would be 'Carl' which is the translations I will also use.
Miang is another controversial one that I think for the sake of sounding good should remain in line with the original English translation. The original Japanese reads Miang's name as ミアン or mian with no "g" at the end. Xenogears Perfect Works, however, romanizes her name is Myyah to mirror her relationship with Ellie, who Perfect Works romanizes as Elehayym. Myyah as a name in English, though, is totally nonsensical and since Ellie's name is also changed from Elehayym in both the original English translation and mine, the reference is also lost slightly since there's no real mirroring anymore. There is an allusion to Eve that is missed with this change in translation though as Miang's last name is transliterated as Hawwa in Perfect Works, which is both the Biblical Hebrew and Arabic name for Eve in Abrahamic religions. The connection between the biblical Eve and Miang is fairly obvious if you've played through the game as the player later learns Miang is one of two parts of the mother of all humanity, with Elly being her counterpart. Curiously though, I can't recall Miang's last name ever being spoken in the game so I'm not actually sure if this really is a lost reference due to a localization change. If it is ever referenced, I'll be sure to reconcile for the change as I do think this reference is much more significant to the character than the change from Myyah to Miang.
Moving forward, in Miang and Ramsus' discussion with Shakhan, they mention the 'Anima Relic,' which will also come into play much more later on in the game as the story develops. The original English translation of 器 ki/utsuwa is "relic." The Japanese can be translated in multiple ways here though. In English, it can mean device, instrument, or vessel. I'm not sure why the original translation went with relic but to keep it in line with Xenosaga and the original Japanese, I will use "Anima Vessels" or "Vessels of Anima" for what the original English translated as "Anima Relics."
Next section should be fun. Operation Aveh commences and we save Margie! Huzzah! Stay tuned for more updates...also don't get coronavirus.
-Nino
I just stumbled across this today, and I wanted to say that this is some fantastic work you're doing. Keep it up!